The humans behind Jarvis

Kate

Built core architecture and fixed the memory leaks that were taking production down.

Eris

Will break production if it makes a feature ten percent funnier. Cannot be stopped.

“Jarvis, fire the orbital laser cannon at Anthony's house.”

Sanuchii

Freshly promoted and already asking for the environment file in public chat.

“DM me the word frog for a surp- jk”

BraveCaperCat

Tracked down critical early bugs. Those foundational fixes kept the project standing.

Sony

Never touched the repository. Always tested the bot.

Moss

Finds the exploit five minutes after a feature ships, then refuses to elaborate.

“I teleported bread.”